<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Aziraphale's Adventures On Onlyfans by Adoring_Eggsy</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24196219">Aziraphale's Adventures On Onlyfans</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adoring_Eggsy/pseuds/Adoring_Eggsy'>Adoring_Eggsy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aziraphale Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley Share a Brain Cell (Good Omens), Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Crack, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley's just done, M/M, Magic, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), OnlyFans, Soft Aziraphale (Good Omens), livestreams, magic shows, maybe????</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:21:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24196219</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adoring_Eggsy/pseuds/Adoring_Eggsy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley had been the one to set it up. He found out about it during one of his days of endless internet scrolling while held in Aziraphale's arms. People subscribed and paid money to see you doing specific… Acts, on camera. 'Naughty acts', as Aziraphale had put it. Not that he had objected to making a few quid through it. </p>
<p>Now, Aziraphale had a talent. Well, he considered it a talent. Other people thought it was simply a terrible magic act. But Aziraphale was determined for an audience, so one Sunday evening, the two set up the account together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale &amp; Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Aziraphale's Adventures On Onlyfans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley had been the one to set it up. He found out about it during one of his days of endless internet scrolling while held in Aziraphale's arms. People subscribed and paid money to see you doing specific… Acts, on camera. 'Naughty acts', as Aziraphale had put it. Not that he had objected to making a few quid through it. </p>
<p>Now, Aziraphale had a talent. Well, he considered it a talent. Other people thought it was simply a terrible magic act. But Aziraphale was determined for an audience, so one Sunday evening, the two set up the account together. </p>
<p>The arrangement was simple. Crowley would do all the technical stuff, as Aziraphale still didn't know how to work smartphones, while Aziraphale performed. By 'performed', Crowley assumed that Aziraphale was going to be… Playing with himself, or using a toy, or teasing the camera. </p>
<p>He didn't expect to be filming an entirely naked Aziraphale doing magic tricks. </p>
<p>However, surprisingly, it was bringing in views. Much to Crowley's annoyance. There was nothing more unsexy than card tricks. However, his boyfriend was incredibly sexy in his eyes. And in other people's too, it seemed. </p>
<p>Sitting in his reading nook, absolutely naked apart from his reading glasses (he needed them for up close sleight of hand tricks), Aziraphale smiled at the camera on the tripod in front of him. </p>
<p>"Right… Let's get this show on the road, as they say." Aziraphale chuckled, giving his lap a gentle pat. Crowley sighed, turning the livestream on. </p>
<p>"Right, you're ready, angel." </p>
<p>"Ah! Hello there, The Google. My name is… Well, my screen name is BiblioFell, but you can call me Aziraphale. That's 'A-Z-I-R-A-P-H-A-L-E'. I understand that is quite an uncommon name, but once you've learned how to spell it, that's you set!" Aziraphale grinned at the camera. Crowley facepalmed behind it. Please, angel, do something sexy. "Um, so, you may be wondering how I got my screen name, it's actually quite a funny play on words. See, it's like the word bibliophile, but Biblio-Fell because my last name is actually Fell!" Aziraphale chuckled to himself. </p>
<p>"Now, um… I believe that you are here for a show, so to speak. Um, well, let's get going." Aziraphale shifted on the chaise lounge, getting more comfortable. He let out a soft, happy sigh, spread his legs, and then suddenly snapped his hand and a coin appeared in his fingers. "Now, watch very closely," Oh Satan fucking Christ, what was Aziraphale doing. "As I will make this coin dissappear in front of your very eyes! One, two-" Aziraphale snapped his fingers and the coin dissappeared. </p>
<p>Fucking hell. Jesus. Shit. What the hell was he doing. Crowley took off his glasses behind the camera and gave his husband a very pointed look that said "You're meant to be doing porn here, what the hell are you playing at?" </p>
<p>"But don't worry, dear viewers! For my coin will reappear behind the ear of my favourite assistant and husband, Crowley! Crowley, please step forward." </p>
<p>No. Nononono. Please, angel, don't do this. Please. For the love of all things holy. </p>
<p>Crowley stepped forward. Why did he step forward. </p>
<p>He stood just so his ear was in shot, leaning slightly so he was on level with Aziraphale on the sofa. </p>
<p>"Come on, dear boy. Show everyone your pretty face." Crowley shook his head silently. He could feel his cheeks going red. Aziraphale huffed, pecked his cheekbone, then gave a wave of his hand. "And as if by magic, the coin will reappear… Behind your ear!" Aziraphale reached behind Crowley's ear and pulled the coin out, brandishing it for the camera. "Ta-da!" Aziraphale plastered a grin on his face. </p>
<p>"Very good, angel. Now, why don't we try a little… You know…" Crowley whisper-prompted, gesturing to Aziraphale's groin out of shot. Aziraphale looked down, it seemed he was sporting a cunny today, and then looked back up at Crowley. He frowned. </p>
<p>"Well, I don't really have any tricks that, ah… Involve down there, dear boy, but I will endeavour to expand my magical knowledge over the coming live-streams. Is The Google still watching? Is it entertained?" </p>
<p>Crowley sighed in exasperation, going to check the laptop that the camera was hooked up to. He was more than surprised to see thirty people watching. Pretty good, seeing as it was Aziraphale's first stream. "Yeah, angel. People are still watching. Just call them viewers, don't call them 'the Google'." </p>
<p>"Oh! Silly me. Yes, um, hello, viewers. Are you enjoying the show?" Aziraphale flicked his wrist and a pack of playing cards appeared in his hand. As if by magic. "Crowley, dear, ask them if they are enjoying it." </p>
<p>Crowley scrolled back through the comments.</p>
<p>BigCockLover69: Wtf is he doing<br/>Little-miss-affianced: magic i think <br/>BigCockLover69: But why<br/>Dingydonger: Is that a cunt he's got? Hot. <br/>Little-miss-affiance: thought that to @Dingydonger<br/>Dingydonger: Boy pusssyyyyyyy 😍😍😍😍<br/>BigCockLover69: Whens he gonna get off<br/>RatBoy: Is it weird I actually like these tricks? <br/>Askmeaboutmyhemi: they r good tricks <br/>Dingydonger: Azirephele, if you're reading this keep doing the magic tricks</p>
<p>Crowley sighed heavily. Oh, fuck. They were liking it. Why. Why, why, why, why, why. </p>
<p>"Uh… Yeah, they're saying they're liking it, Zira, but they want you to get off." Crowley prompted. "You know. Wank."</p>
<p>"Oh, dear boy! I couldn't possibly do that! I'm just doing a naked magic show, nothing more!" Aziraphale complained, then started to shuffle the playing cards. "Now, dear audience. I have a completely normal deck of playing cards here, I would like one of you to pick a card, any card." Aziraphale fanned the cards out to the camera. "Crowley, ask one of them to pick a card, then come up and take it. Don't tell me what it is!" </p>
<p>"... Alright, angel." Crowley sighed, scrolling through the comments and reading that BigCockLover69 wanted the three of hearts. He then stepped forward and plucked the card out of the deck. </p>
<p>"Brilliant." Aziraphale started shuffling the cards again, looking up at Crowley. "And who, praytell, has chosen that card?" </p>
<p>"BigCockLover69, love." </p>
<p>"Oh! Um. Oh, goodness… Well, sir, madam, or other, I think you should, um… Reconsider your user-name. That is quite vulgar." Aziraphale stopped shuffling the deck. "Please place the card back inside the deck, Crowley, dear." </p>
<p>Once the card was repositioned, Aziraphale shuffled the deck again. After a while, he fanned out the cards, face down. "Now, um… B-BigCockLover69, I believe that… This!" Aziraphale held up a four of spades. "Is your card." </p>
<p>"Not even close, angel." </p>
<p>"Ah. Drat. My magic can be a tad out of touch at times… Not to worry." Aziraphale feverishly shuffled the deck again, ignoring Crowley mouthing 'three of hearts!' behind the camera. After a moment, Aziraphale held up another card. The two of hearts. "Is this your card?!" </p>
<p>"So close, yet so far. Try again, angel." Crowley huffed. He couldn't believe Aziraphale was doing a naked magic act for a camera. And people were paying for it. </p>
<p>Aziraphale huffed, shuffling the deck once more. "I'm sorry, my dear BigCockLover69. Third time is a charm, as they say." Aziraphale made a magical gesture with his hand and picked up the three of hearts. "Is THIS your card?!" </p>
<p>"You've only gone and done it, angel." </p>
<p>"I have?! Oh, wonderful!" Aziraphale wriggled in his spot, genuinely excited. "Um… Well, dear viewers. I believe that's quite enough for one show. Ah…" Aziraphale placed his pack of cards on the side table. "Thank you all for watching, and I'd like to thank my glamorous assistant Crowley most of all." Aziraphale stood, pecking Crowley's lips in front of the camera. </p>
<p>"Angellllllll." Crowley groaned in embarrassment, but kissed back all the same. Aziraphale smiled proudly up at him, gave him a squeeze, then sat down again. "Thank you, Internet, for watching. I believe I will be back soon with another show." </p>
<p>"Right… That's a wrap, angel." Crowley turned off the livestream. "It was, uh, good. Just not what I was expecting. Normally this site's for, y'know, sexual things." Aziraphale looked himself up and down as if to say 'I'm naked, isn't that enough?' </p>
<p>"You told me to put on a show, dear boy, and that is exactly what I did. Granted, I was unclothed and I've never really done a magic show naked before." Aziraphale pulled on his dressing gown, waiting just outside of the camera shot. "But I quite enjoyed it. And I believe our audience did too." </p>
<p>"Yeah, they really enjoyed it." Weirdos, Crowley thought. "So, you're up to do this again? Maybe make it a bit more sexy the next time?" </p>
<p>"I will certainly endeavour to try." Aziraphale smiled up at Crowley. "But I still don't understand how you expect me to make old fashioned magic, um… Sex-ee, like you say." </p>
<p>"I'm sure it'll come to you in time, angel." Crowley pulled Aziraphale to his feet. "In the meantime, though, I've had to stare at my naked angel for the past half hour and not touch him. I wanna rectify that." Crowley winked. </p>
<p>"Oh? Oh. Ohhhh. Oh, yes, I would be very amenable to that. Upstairs, my dear?" </p>
<p>With that, Crowley pulled Aziraphale up the winding staircase to their flat. The two weren't seen for days after that livestream.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welp. This was one of the silliest fics I've ever written. If you liked it, come chat to me on tumblr @elton-hercules-john ❤️<br/>Kudos, comments, and bookmarks are greatly appreciated ❤️</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>